The Land of Goolties

While travelling in the gooltie( telugu) land don’t get surprised to see the spellings of names like Shanthi, Kavitha, Saradha, Latha, Arathi ……to what I call as the “H” Factor. Any name ending with the ‘TA’ or ‘TI’ phonetics will have ‘H” in the spelling. And if you don’t write it properly you have to face the music. They are very particular about it.
A friend from Vijaywada told me that stand in any street in the city and call “Rama Rao” or “Subba Rao” you will see at least ten people will respond to you. You can understand how many Rama’s and Subba’s are there in this land. For females it will be Laksmi everywhere ..……. ......Asta Lakshmi, Gaja Lakshmi, Rama Lakshmi, Naga Lakhsmi, Venkata Lakshmi, Kanaka Lakshmi, Dhana Lakshmi…….offffffff……Even my sister wanted her daughter to be named as Maha Lakshmi…..but somehow changed her idea. Go to any market and see the names of the shops and complexes, I am sure that at least everywhere you will see the name “Sai”. It will be Sai Ram Parlour, Sai Baba Enterprise, Sai Ram Brothers etc., with a prefix of Sai on the name.
Another friend had taken his coaching in Guntur and his classmates from Guntur wanted to come to Orissa for a vacation. He was very confused and tensed about their food because even if you give them the raw green chilies of Orissa to eat, they will say that it is sweet. So, think how much of chilly they consume.
Any flop movie in this land will at least run for 50 days and after water if any thing else which is necessary for them to live is ‘Flowers’.

About the dress……… “ANDHRA RANI …….LEHANGA VANI”

Bharatiya Rail....Hum behtar ishe banaye…Aur iska labh uthaye

Journey by train always used to be a different experience. I always used to fight with my siblings for a window seat during my childhood. I used to gaze through the windows for hours together without even bothering to eat and drink. Seeing the Nadi, Nehar, Pahad and Panchis I used to be lost. When a station approaches I used to be eager to read the name of the station and try to locate what difference this station has…..from coolies to rickshaw wallahs every station had something different in store ….

With urbanization, population and congestion, slowly, all these are fading away. Maybe the window seat will not be my first preference now. Reasons are many; I have to deal with the awful stench when a station approaches. And not only that instead of the name of the station, what greets you while you enter the city or town is “ Big promises of Doctors, Educational institutes and Marriage bureaus ” ….which say

NIL sukrunu se 100% sukrunu Milye Hakim Fakir Chand….Har Gupt rog ka Ilaz …Aaj Hi milye….Vaidh Ram Naryan Gupta…

10 vi fail 12 vi kare …..12 vi Fail B.Com kare …100 % pass guarantee..Wadhwa college….

Rishte hi Rishte ………..Malhotra Quick marriages…


Seeing the same ads each and every time…mere ankhein pak gaye hai………… it is better I take an Upper berth and listen to item numbers on my walkie ….rather than getting bored.

"Bharatiya rail…….Kuch behtar banou….. Taki hum iska labh uthaye"

The End of Lanterns

Finally, Laloo lost. There is a saying that God punishes a person till he reaches the danger level quota of his mistakes and wrongs. There is also a reordering level, Laloo reached that level in the February elections but never bothered to change his ways. He got his lesson, still time is there for him to improve or else the day will come when he will lose his ministerial berth and has to get back to his goshala.

Democray ki Jai !

Hyderabad versus New Delhi

Hyderabad..................................................................New Delhi

1) Pulla Reddy Sweets..................................................Agarwal Sweets
2) Red Light.............................................................................. Lal bati
3) Cross Roads.................................................. ................Gol Chakkar
4) Dum Biryani.................................................. ................Sahi Paneer
5) Chutta hai.................................................. .....................Khulla Hai
6) M** K* L***.................................................. ....................B**** C****
7) APSRTC Zindabad.............................................Blue line Murdabad
8) MMTS ............................................................................Delhi Metro
9) BSNL..................................MTNL ( Mera Telephone Nahin Lagega)
10) Mera beta US mein Hai...................Mere Chacha London vich Hai
11) Hussain Sagar.................................................................. Yamuna
12)HPS Begumpet .......................................................DPS R.K.Puram
13) Central University.................................................. Delhi University
14) Deccan Chronicle..................................................Hindustan Times
15) Bonalu.................................................. ...............Bhagvati Jagaran
16) Swaimi Ye Sarnam Ayappa........................................... Jai Mata Di
17) Saturday (sacred Day)................................... Tuesday (sacred Day)
18) I Max......................................................................... PVR Anupam
19) Coke and Pepsi ............................................................Campa cola
20) Aab Shola ( Mango Sharbat)........................................ Roohafza
21) Salar Jung Museum........................................... Teen Murti Bhavan
22) NTR Gardens.............................................. ......................Raj Ghat
23)Banjara Hills...........................................................South Extension
24)Medchal ( Farm Houses)................................................... Mehrauli
25) Gandhi Hospital.................................................................... AIIMS
26) HUDA...................................................................................... MCD
27) Cheta Vali....................................................................... Kudi Vali
28) Old City...................................................................... Purani Delhi
29) Secunderabad Station........................... New Delhi Railway Station
30) Hyderabad ( Nampalli)..................... Purani Delhi Railway Station
31) Kachiguda Railway Station................ Nizamuddin Railway Station
32) Begumpet Railway Station..................Sarai Rohilla Railway Station
33)City Cabs .....................................................................Prepaid Taxi
34)Vanasthailipuram( where oriyas stay)................. Kathwaria Sarai
35) Nagarjuna Sagar ( for one day holiday).................................. Agra
36) Tirupati ( for pilgrimage)........................................... Vaishno Devi
37) Hyderabadi Foods ...........................................................Nirolas
38) Trinethra and Food world ...........................................Super Bazar
39) Ameerpet.......................................................... Connaught Place
40)Lifestyle, Shoppers’ Stop, Hyd Central.....................Gurgaon Malls
41) Kothi Market ..................................Ajmal Khan Road( Karol Bagh)

A Place Called Jhumri Talaya

Have you heard the name Jhumri Talaya? Probably you will say yes. We would have heard this name ‘n’ number of times in films and television but always in a lighter vein. I used to specially write this name to fill up the Favourite Place Column in the slam books, but didn't know where this place is and why it is so famous. Jhumri Talaya is a small town in the State of Jharkand. The name of the railway station is Koderma Junction. Vividh Bharati started its commercial broadcasting services in the year 1967 and ‘Faramish’ was the very popular song-based programme. There were also many other programmes which were based on the letters sent by the listeners.
In Jhumri Talaya, a very rich man was very fond of listening songs on Vividh Bharati. He was also passionate of hearing the name of his place on radio. He started sending loads of letters to Vividh Bharati. The anchors during the telecast of the program used to read the name of the town very often like “ ish gane ko sunne ke mang ki hai Jhumri Talaya se XXXX”. Not only he used to put his name but the names of scores of his friends and relatives of his town. Instead of writing in pen on the post card he started using a seal because of the loads of letters that he used to send everyday. In 60s and 70s whoever had listened Vividh Bharati knows about Jhumri Talaya. Many people used to think that it is just a Pseudo name used by the radio station.
The rich man is no more but the love for his town had made it so popular. I have passed Koderma station many times but never noticed it. Next time when I will travel in this route I will definetely remember it.

AIDS ( Another Indian Died on Sunday)

India is the second populous country in the world with more than one billion people and it is going to overtake China in a few years. Not only in population it has the second largest number of people living with HIV/AIDS. There are 5.1 million people who are affected with this deadly disease. The UN Population Division projects that India's adult HIV prevalence will peak at 1.9% in 2019. During 2000-15, it has projected 12.3 million AIDS deaths and there will be a day when AIDS will be known as Another Indian Died on this sunday.

Though the infection is concentrated among poor and marginalized groups it is spreading quickly into the general population. States which have the largest number of HIV cases are Andhra Pradesh because of long coastline, sex workers and truck drivers ; Goa ( for tourists); Karnataka for devadasi women, Maharashtra & Mumbai ( for migrant population ) and the northeastern states for using intravenous drugs.

What is needed at this hour is checks, controls and education. Educating people is the most important thing. Like the Rastra Sikhya Abhiyan which was started in a full swing with each one teach one to each one teach ten. In the same way door to door campaigining is required to counsel people about this disease. Mostly in the rural areas people are shy and do not come out in open to discuss such issues but this should be made compulsory at every level. From districts, mandals to tahsils. There should be a country wide awareness.

I think the DOs and Don'ts about this disease should be written on every product you purchase till the situation comes under control. It should be included in the syllabus of the children. Every person who joins Govt. service should take an oath while joining the service that he has to teach, preach and practice the DOs and Don'ts. And he will not be confirmed into service till he proves it during the probabtionery period.

Not one or two the country needs thousands of programs and policies with a equal number of volunteers to come forward and save this nation from the disease Another Indian Died on Sunday.

The BPO Dudes

How was your weekend buddie ? Cool Man. A typical answer to a question from a BPO dude. Who are BPO dudes? The nocturnal Homo Sapiens who sleep during the day and work in the night, drink less water and more diet colas, weekend means pubs or discos and if by mistake you happen to wear a formal shirt on a friday you are a bhaiyaji type.
My friend recently joined a BPO and on the first party on the weekend. He dressed himself in one of the best outfits he had ( formals) and on the entry gate itself, the question was " don't you have a evening wear". My friend was embarassed. He asked me what is a evening wear. Even I too didn't had any answer. I told him to use his R&D astras to find out so that I too will get an answer. The research showed it can be T-shirts, shirts with rings, buttons or feathers, short kurtas, torn pants, 3/4ths. It can be any damn thing in this world which can cover the important parts of the body but not the regular ones.
This is just about the dress there are lot many things to learn before being a BPO dude. I was in a friend's apartment one day. The have named that residential building as WTO towers as it is one of the biggest residential complex in that area. We were about to leave the place, a dude came and asked "is anyone having a Kini". I was taken to surprise, he is looking like a cool dude but why on earth is he asking for tobacco. Our answer was sorry we don't chew tobacco. The reply was, Oh! sorry I mean Kinetic Honda. The BPO dudes can shorten any sentence in this world. Next time if you are talking to them beware with your lingo.
They don't use walkman or discman they only use Ipods and if you don't use the latest gadgets it is a crime in their fraternity. There is a big list of things for one to be BPO dude. Are you planning ? Than maybe the time has come to start a BPO dude grooming center. Hey nice idea buddie why not me be the first, anyone wanna join !